Are instincts always right or why do people believe that MSMs are confused out cast community? At one point i had the same notion but not until i met my friend Tin (not real names) an MSM who shared his ordeal with me.To be honest i don’t know how it started but generally since my childhood i was just but having strong feelings towards my fellow men.He said.I kept fighting my feelings but couldn’t i felt was alone and imagined how pathetic my friends could feel about me if i share the same with them.it was after i joined high school in one of the senior catholic schools in kisumu and met with other students from diverse backgrounds and from diverse parts of the country that i realized i was not the same.
There was these teacher Mr.Ben (not the real name) who was teaching us drama and was staying in the school compound occasionally could send for me to go and see him in the house whenever i went he could tell me how neat i was and sums it up with pocket money which being a student couldn’t resist. I did not share my story with anybody as was scared could land me to problem with the teacher.It was one Saturday night when we had school entertainment and everybody was expected to be at the entertainment hall the teacher sent for me and went to his house on arrival i got the teaching watching some porn gay movie which he never bothered to stop he welcomed me in hugged me tightly and for sure had an erection which he couldn’t control,he took me to his bed room undressed me and we had unplanned penetrative sex with him for the first time.
I couldn’t face the teacher the following day in class but to him things were normal.When we closed i insisted that i be transferred from the same school to another but could not convince my parents as to why.Being the only son in a family of four they succumbed my pressure and took me to a local day school.One day on my way to school i met aboda-boda guy whom i stopped to take me to school on our way we kept chating and became friends we even exchanged contacts one evening he invited me to his humble house little did i i know was in another trap……on arrival we ate and storied for sometime but on my requisition to leave he demanded that i sleep over as he really wanted to share much with me back in mind had nothing.
To my surprise when we went to bed the man asked me to do him favor which i asked which.Sleep naked he said. Being fellow man i had no problem but again i kept asking myself very many unanswered questions a some point i did my conclusions that maybe that’s the rule in his house.i had not even catch asleep when he climbed on me and we had sex again and again…..my worry was do they know am gay or they just try their lucks thanks one thing that have never gotten the right answer to.It was until early the year 2013 that a friend invited me to one of the health sessions that he told me is organized by an organization called KASH and that we should attend one.My problem was solved beacuse on arrival i met three good friends whom we hail from the same neighborhood identifying themselves as MSMs. From then have always learn that am not alone and that one can never choose their sexual orientations.Thanks to Keeping Alive Societies Hope (KASH) for the good work they are doing to the MSMs community as now can not sleep with a stranger with out protection as most of the time we discuss about condom use and negotiation among peers i have also networked with other peers and can choose who and who not to sleep with thanks God i did not contract HIV virus during my early careless sexual practices.But my big questions is do MSMs have instincts towords their fellow MSMs???